Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Randomize
