I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
