operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
