I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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