Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
