I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
