my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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