my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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