Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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