shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
