ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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