Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
