why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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