So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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