There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
