On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
