Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I believe in your delicious
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
