a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
