i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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