Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
