Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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