I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
