Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
