we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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