i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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