does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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