yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
