Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
