what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have fence marks all over my body
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
