You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
