It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
