Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
