Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
