One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How naked do you want me to be?
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