Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
