But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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