Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My breasts were aching with rage.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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