He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
