i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
