i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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