I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
