Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Vodka?
Forever.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
