she was so not down for the gang bang
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
