im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
