No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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