He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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