the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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