is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
