I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
