Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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